Friendships are essential in our lives. Good friends are always there for us, making the good times even better and the bad times a little easier to endure. However, not all of our friends have our best interests at heart. Here are easy ways to figure out whether your friends are good or bad.
Table of Contents
1. Respect
An excellent buddy wishes you to succeed and grow. They have your best interests at heart and want to offer you sound advice, even if they don’t always agree with you.
Someone more interested in stroking their ego than caring about your friendship may often disparage or insult you to appear superior or hilarious in front of a group. You don’t have to stay as their punching bag because this isn’t a true buddy.
It’s difficult enough as it is without having to deal with your buddies. Find friends who will stand by your side, defend your honor, and give you helpful counsel to help you grow.
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2. Inequalities
A lifelong friend is someone who is always there for you when you need them, as well as someone you can help when they need it. When you’re out of work, they pick up the bill, and vice versa; it’s a yin and yang thing if you think about it. When it comes to a friend who doesn’t have your best interests at heart, you’ll find that the scales aren’t balanced.
You transport them to the airport without hesitation, but when you’re on your way out, they don’t respond to your request for a ride. When you get together to catch up, it always seems to come back to them and their lives, no matter what the topic of conversation is.
Friendship must be reciprocal, meaning that both parties must contribute, rather than one person giving and the other taking. If it’s a one-way street, your friend is more interested in making money.
3. Boundaries
Maybe borrowing your friends’ clothes without asking was a friendship badge of honor in middle school, and assuming that all of your free time would be spent together, or even that your friend would have a voice in who you date.
Most of us develop more healthy limits and a more casual approach to connection as we grow out of this level of friendship. It’s therefore clear that, while your friend is allowed to invite you to events or share their thoughts about your guy, you won’t necessarily agree because you’re independent.
And that is something that most friends appreciate in one another. If you feel bullied into doing things or making decisions that you don’t agree with, you should reconsider your friendship’s boundaries.
4. Pessimism
Friends don’t need to agree on everything. So, if a friend insists on sharing their point of view on everything, let’s agree that you’re in a poor relationship with them.
Being with someone who wants to dispute with you about everything is tiresome and uninspired. With someone who believes in “my way or the highway,” it’s nearly impossible to organize a trip you’ll enjoy. It simply places everyone in a position of being on the defensive.
You should not be forced to justify yourself in front of your peers. This isn’t to say that your friends shouldn’t push you to improve, but friendship is a safe zone where you may make errors and yet be supported. It doesn’t have to come with any strings attached. There will be more on this later.
5. Competitive
The most prevalent frenemy trait is when your relationship becomes an intensifying competition that you weren’t expecting.
We’re not denying that having a little healthy competition to stay up with your friends can feel a little like competition, but we’re not talking about the unhealthy sort here. If your friend makes you feel like they’re always one-upping each other, you’re in trouble. It’s exhausting, and it’s not the kind of haven you should be providing for your pals.
6. Gossip
You can’t trust a rumor, no matter how you spin it. If they have an opinion and all the inside information on everyone and are willing to give it, you can bet they will gossip about you as well.
This type of individual will often force you to reveal your deepest secrets or personal data. But it’s not because they care about you; it’s because they thrive on the drama and want to spill some juicy new beans in order to earn status.
If you share your personal information with someone who gossips about other people’s secrets, it won’t be long before they start broadcasting your news as well. Don’t be upset if you recognize one of your connections in these points; instead, read on to find out why it’s easier than you think.
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7. Envy
Have you ever had a friend who actively works to keep you from making new acquaintances or entering into new relationships? That isn’t a good sign, to say the least. Because no single individual can fulfill all of your needs, having a group of acquaintances from all walks of life is advantageous.
Friends from high school and college, family friends, siblings and relatives, neighbors, pals from the office and your children’s school, and finally friends who share the same interest, such as sports or hobbies.
You won’t have to rely on anyone or put undue strain on anyone else this way. If you have a problem or need help, it also provides you with a lot of perspectives.
People that are toxic find it difficult to share. It’s mostly out of concern that other people will diminish their importance in your life, perhaps even pointing out some of their bad friendship practices.
Someone who wants to keep you to themselves is doing it out of an unhealthy need in them, not out of affection for you. And that’s not a solid foundation for a friendship to be built on.
8. Tell it like it is
To decipher the facts in a chat with a friend, you shouldn’t need to be a CIA detective. There are numerous causes for people to lie, which we will not discuss here. However, you can’t trust a friend who lies.
They may hype themselves up or persuade you to do things you don’t want to do before you realize they are lying to you.
It doesn’t have to be a big problem, and you’ll find out why in the end.
9. Have faith in your instincts.
Nothing beats good old-fashioned intuition when it comes to determining whether a friend has good or ill intentions. You probably already know the answer if you have to go through a checklist.
Trust your instincts and surround yourself with individuals who want to see you flourish in your personal, professional, and spiritual lives.
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10. Embrace
You’re not a carbon duplicate of someone else just because you’re friends. Friendships that are healthy understand that everyone has characteristics that you like and dislike. These distinctions, or even flaws, are accepted by them.
Toxic buddies will put pressure on you to change, to imitate everything they like, believe, and feel about anything. They will use some of the strategies we discussed before, such as belittling or a lack of boundaries, to bully you into compliance, from fashion to music selections.
